Very Authorized Blog

Guess who?

335,060 notes

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

(Source: sometimesoverwhelming, via mlgnoca)

141 notes

Perfect human beings → John Richard Deacon 
“I’ll probably make loads of plans, and then just sit around on my bottom all day long and do nothing.”

(via mlgnoca)

179,536 notes

whatwouldfezwear:

the-sarcastic-robot:

if you want to kill someone stab them with an icicle because the icicle will melt and then there will be no murder weapon

Better yet, make like one of my favorite short stories and murder them with big frozen leg of lamb and then cook the lamb. 

Then when the police arrive offer them something to eat and then have the police eat your murder weapon. 

image

I love that story

(Source: katorade27, via ozthemagician)

43,068 notes

enchanting-ravenclaw:

enchanting-ravenclaw:

enchanting-ravenclaw:

a kid from my high is fucking trending on facebook because of a stupid petition to get a senior photo of him holding a cat into the yearbook…

image

(x)

UPDATE!!

My principal decided to join him in a photo.

The new photograph will go in the yearbook as a way to raise awareness for American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) and rescue animals like Mr. Bugglesworth and Vivienne.

image

(via ozthemagician)

494,611 notes

mylittlebig-world-of-my-mind:

take-me-tom-hiddleston:

ship-it-all-the-way:

jadedfalling:

sickledsnake:

itsdorkgirl:


BOND is a tiny touch module. It can be a pendant or a bracelet but it comes in pairs. You keep one and you give one to a friend. When you touch it, your friend feels it. No matter where they are on the planet. We don’t do tweets, we do tickles.

gonna put it on my dick

THAT IS NOT THE INTENDED USE SIR

This is actually so cool because some people wear bracelets and necklaces and things as comfort items. I used to wear a necklace from my grandma to remind me of her and I would touch the pendant on it when I was feeling down or stressed. So imagine (if she were still alive), every time I did that she would know I was thinking of her, drawing strength from her.
And then imagine poking it and the other person feels it and pokes back and you end up in a real life facebook poke war.

I would send messages in morse code

magine you and your best friend have one. When the friend dies, he/she is buried with the bracelet. A couple weeks later, you feel someone touch your wrist.

Well this escalated from cool tech to perverted hilarity to something heartfelt then finally something out a creepypasta

mylittlebig-world-of-my-mind:

take-me-tom-hiddleston:

ship-it-all-the-way:

jadedfalling:

sickledsnake:

itsdorkgirl:

BOND is a tiny touch module. It can be a pendant or a bracelet but it comes in pairs. You keep one and you give one to a friend. When you touch it, your friend feels it. No matter where they are on the planet. We don’t do tweets, we do tickles.

gonna put it on my dick

THAT IS NOT THE INTENDED USE SIR

This is actually so cool because some people wear bracelets and necklaces and things as comfort items. I used to wear a necklace from my grandma to remind me of her and I would touch the pendant on it when I was feeling down or stressed. So imagine (if she were still alive), every time I did that she would know I was thinking of her, drawing strength from her.

And then imagine poking it and the other person feels it and pokes back and you end up in a real life facebook poke war.

I would send messages in morse code

magine you and your best friend have one. When the friend dies, he/she is buried with the bracelet. A couple weeks later, you feel someone touch your wrist.

Well this escalated from cool tech to perverted hilarity to something heartfelt then finally something out a creepypasta

(Source: ldrsociety, via ozthemagician)

586,298 notes

goahime:

HAVE YOU EVER LIKED SOMEONE SO MUCH THAT JUST HEARING THEIR NAME OR SEEING A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES YOU SO HAPPY YOU HAVE TO SIT THERE A MOMENT BECAUSE YOU CANT STOP SMILING

(via deakydoo)